According to recent research done at Harvard Medical School entitled Very First Impressions, "Humans are excellent in judging personality traits and complex social characteristics such as dominance, hierarchy, warmth, and threat." So basically, when you meet someone new they decide instantly whether or not they wish to have further communications with you, based on if they feel your personalities match. Therefore, first impressions can be quite important.
Firstly, everyone uses cognitive schematas when they form a perception of others. We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds. That image often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.
Secondly, we also play different roles in relationships and by playing these roles, we leave different impressions on different people. With our parents we play one role, with friends another, with someone we are interested in/in love with a third, when shopping for clothes in a store a fourth. And so on.
Therefore, a good first impression is important can create a positive role in the minds of the new people we meet. When we meet them again, we are often drawn back into this role. The rest of the discussion are some of the things I’ve learned about improving first impressions. Of course, different environments like business meetings with suits and ties or parties with umbrella-drinks come with different goals and expectations so figure out what's appropriate and useful in each meeting.
Act as if you are meeting a good friend
If you just imagine that the person you have just met and are talking to is one of your best friends you’ll probably adjust unconsciously and start to smile, open up your body-language to a very friendly and warm position and reduce any nervousness or weirdness in your tone of voice and body-language. Don't overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away.
The nice thing about this is that you may also start to feel positive feelings towards this new person, just as you do with your friend when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting-point for getting them to reciprocate and for developing a good relationship. Remember, the words are only 7 percent of your communication. 93 percent is in your tone of voice and your body-language.
The nice thing about this is that you may also start to feel positive feelings towards this new person, just as you do with your friend when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting-point for getting them to reciprocate and for developing a good relationship. Remember, the words are only 7 percent of your communication. 93 percent is in your tone of voice and your body-language.
Be positive
A way to convey a positive attitude in a first meeting is to read the mood of person(s) before you start talking – by just observing them. Then - when you have an emotional connection and the other person feels you are similar to him/her - you can let your positivity arise a bit more.
Mentally rehearse before you even enter the room
Visualize how great the events will unfold - see and hear it - and also how great will you feel at this meeting. See yourself smiling, being positive, open and having a great time. See the excellent outcome in your mind. Then release by visualizing that it has already happened, that the meeting is over with the desired result. This is surprisingly effective and will get you into a great and relaxed mood before even stepping into the first, second or twentieth meeting.
Hopefully with these tips on creating impressions, we will become better communicators and presenters!
yea, i watched the movie a few years ago and it was a great movie. i think that first impressions are very important indeed because it affects how the relationship between people develop in the future. it also affects how people perceive you to be. however, i think that stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination is present in our everyday life and i don't think we can do much to change other people's opinions about us.
ReplyDeleteI have been to job interviews and I believe that first impressions are very important, especially to potential employers. This is because your interviewer does not know you and it just takes a few seconds for the interviewer to put you into the various "categories" and judge you.
ReplyDeleteWe all judge each other, this is inevitable, but we judge more than just someone's personality--we can judge someone through his or her verbal and nonverbal cues. However, I do not think that we cannot change other people's opinions about us. I guess it just takes time, experience and trying hard enough to change one's opinion of you.
ReplyDeleteWhether you smile and how you stand (tense vs. relaxed, energetic vs. tired) are important cues to judge a variety of traits. Extraverts smile more, stand in energetic and less tense ways, and look healthy, neat and stylish. People who are more open to experience are
ReplyDeleteless likely to have a healthy, neat appearance, but are more likely to have a distinctive style of dress.
I believe we can change other people's perception about us as long as we are determined to change in positive ways and be consistent with our actions.
ReplyDeleteFirst impressions are important not just in job interview. In other aspects of our lives such as when we meet new friends, colleagues, clients etc, first impressions play an important role in how people judge us too :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with what you said, yes, we cannot stop people from judging us but we can change other people's opinions. I like your positive attitude to this issue.
ReplyDeleteI tend to think there's a little more at work behind the scenes, something like destiny. If you're meant to get along with someone, you will, but if not, there's nothing you can do about it. This has really helped my anxiety, because I don't stress afterwards if I've made a fool of myself or made a bad impression on someone. It may sound defeatist, but I just think that it wasn't meant to be when this happens. Sometimes people will forget, and give you another chance, but this is not in my control.
ReplyDeleteI've often found that first impressions are less important than people seem to make out. I tend not to rely on them at all, since I'm pretty poor at it (making them & forming them of other people...). I'm sure they're important in situations where you only get one shot (e.g. interviews, introducing yourself to a prospective other you might never see again...) but in other situations if you do get a second etc. chance and didn't completely screw up the first then it can be ok.
ReplyDeleteCase in point since I'm so bad at it if you put me in any situation I'll probably gravitate towards people that I won't like & avoid people I might actually relate to (I have no idea why really, but I find it quite pervasive...). In these kind of situations I've often found I can pick up the thread with someone later months after making a bad/neutral impression. If you're around someone for any length of time you might find that their attitude can change, and people are often forgiving. I tend not to worry about one-off situations as much since they're transient. If I'm interested enough in someone to want to make a good impression I probably know them enough to have a second chance.
I think it goes both ways. As Malcom Gladwell suggests in "Blink", first impressions are often subconsciously biased but powerful enough to influence major decisions, so we should be very cautious about trusting them. But in "The Gift of Fear" Gavin de Becker suggest that what we call "intuition" (also subconscious reaction to our surroundings) is something we should trust, because it's there for the benefit of our survival. I think it's generally good to keep an open mind. But I do trust my intuition, especially if I'm getting a really bad vibe -- not just that I don't like someone, but that they're untrustworthy, for instance.
ReplyDeleteThis is a topic we always address during our seminars. We speak to thousands of women and men and our second slide is "it takes less than 7 seconds to make a first impression". People are assessing you immediately..do I want to do business with you, do I want to socialize with you or even be friends with them. It is most often determined by what they are wearing. Guess what, you are doing it right back to them wheather you know it or not. If your clothes are ill fitting the eye knows there is something wrong it just doesn't know what. The Fashion Fit Formula is the solution for helping make that first impression memorable every time by putting your clothes into perfect proportion with your body. So many women are passed over in job promotions because their clothes are not fitted as properly as men even if they have had them altered. It is all in the details. Thanks for writing this article. Kathy McFadden President/Founder Fashion Fit Formula
ReplyDeleteWhen you meet someone once and have a negative first experience with them, that will likely be the lasting impression. On the other hand, if you don't like someone at first then are forced to spend time with them, nine out of ten times you'll end up liking them ... that's just my two cents!
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me to always trust my body's physical reaction to meeting someone (i.e. body language, heartbeat, etc.).
ReplyDeleteI can't seem to shake first impressions easily. I have noticed that mine aren't always accurate though, so I am trying to work on it.
ReplyDeleteThese are all very proactive (and very good) tips!
ReplyDeleteOne tip that I’d like to add is the importance of watching body language – you can usually tell what kind of impression you are making by the other person’s body language. If they are recoiling from you or making defensive gestures (folded arms, stepping back) you might be coming on too strong. If their body language is open, i.e., arms to the side, head tilted, you are making a good impression.
Great ideas. This could certainly help lots of people with bad first impression. I know a lot of them who needs it. I think they are too negative about the things they talk about. They keep on showing negative insights about a certain topic.
ReplyDeleteI find the tip about acting as if you are meeting a good friend incredibly useful. It allows you to feel immediately comfortable.
ReplyDeleteWith a best friend, it’s ok to say something silly. In fact, it is encouraged.
With a best friend, you actually care about the little details of their life.
And with a best friend, hanging around for chit chat or going out to lunch is a perfectly acceptable suggestion.
Apply these same characteristics to a conversation with a new person, and positive things are going to happen. They will immediately feel more comfortable in your presence and look forward to seeing you again.
Great post!
Great article accept they should put something about being yourself cuz if someone doesn’t like you for who you are then there is no point trying just ignore them if they aren’t saying anything nice but don’t act snobbish!
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